Friday, April 29, 2011

got someone.

Initially I wanted to talk about my current work status but I shall put that aside as of now. Suddenly wanted to talk about him.

I was talking to a close friend and got to know that his close girl friend have something more than just friends for him. I felt... different. I'm happy if he feels the same way for her as I wish he finds the right one too. I know clearly that he and I will never work out. We are better off as close friends but sometimes you just have the funny feeling and soft spot for it ?

My heart still flatters whenever he texts me all the nice words.

Why are you doing this . =/

Monday, March 28, 2011

Drifting apart.

I always happy to see you come online. Yet, I don't know what to talk to you about. Thus, we are slowly drifting apart. I guess is good in a way since I want to forget about you. Maybe before this, we talked almost everyday and now we just have nothing to talk about if I don't have any interesting to tell him.

We are in separate ways. We are stepping into a different chapter of life. I believe so.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Be who you are.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just the one making a friendship works out. Do you ever feel like you don't deserve to be treated such way ? Such way that you are seem to be invisible in their eyes ? or should we not care what people think about us ? Sometimes I just do wonder. That's all.

It is kind of annoying when you met a friend, and he/she says 'hey we need to catch up! it has been a long time!! ' , and so you made an effort to give a call/msg few days later about setting a date and he/she got to say 'hey im sorry. too busy for that'. Well not the exact words, but.. I'm sure you know what I mean ?

I mean, if you are not very keen for that, why do you have to 'act' or 'seem like' you are so interested to keep in touch ? Just be straight to the point, you know.

I'm glad that on my side, I know who are the worthy ones. The ones that are true and real to you. I'm happy I found them.

Well, why didn't I mention about this in my public blog ? Maybe I don't want people to know I'm being treated such way ? Maybe I got ego problems or I just don't want them to feel that they need to be told to know what to do. It won't be sincere anymore then. Don't you think so ?

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Time for a change

I just tweeted.IS time for a change. Indeed. Updating my blog with music playing Another Perfect Day - American Hi-Fi and the sound of the water fountain just fits in the mood of getting a new blog and this is where I can express more whole heartedly than in my own blog that I have been having since 2007.

You may be wondering why don't I just type it there. Well, because what I'm going to say and I don't want some of them to know about it. I know he reads my blog from time to time and I don't want him to know all about this. I don't think he will ever find out about this unless he clicks on my profile and found out that I have another blog (which is this). If he come across this, I guess God wants him to know the hidden feelings from my side.

He is one guy that I'm so over with. I went though a tough time to forget about him. I recovered but not for long because I met him recently again and spending time together again just made me realize why I used to like him. I know clearly that we won't work out. We are best friends. He is not the kind of guy that how my ideal boyfriend would be, but I guess we don't choose who to fall in love with. I'm not saying that he is a total opposite guy that I'm looking for, is just, different.

He is special in his own ways. He sees though me. He knows what I'm thinking without me saying anything. He remembers all the tiny lil things we did. He will be so concern about my well being. He is that ... amazing.

I can still remember that back then, when I went through a bad tummy ache, suspecting an appendicitis, taking the blood test, waiting for the late night report from the doctor, he was there for me the whole time.

Every Friday we will have lunch together with another friend before our class starts. Spraying water till I'm all wet after class and I will get so mad with him. The first call he ever made to my house, was just ... idiotic and annoying.

'hello'
'hi. how are you feeling'
'who's speaking ?'
'oh i'm the guy that got you all wet'

Yea. We were so childish back then. Can't blame us as we were 14 ! All this was way before I realize that I like him. It was that call, that made us got closer and it followed up with lots of sms. We sms a lot but I don't remember if we talk on the phone a lot or not. According to his bro, we did talk a lot too. Funny. It was all these, got me knowing his bro as well.